UPCOMING GIGS (We need gigs – promoters get in touch if yer wanna piece of our arse)

Fri 6th August – The Maze w/ The Splitters

Sun 12th December – Thirsk Market Place (Chrimbo Bash)

NEWZ
08.07.04
Right, flids, wot we been up to lately?

REKORDING
Well, we been busy. Busy as shit. Recording some tune fat arsed tuneage for yo punk arses to get jiggy with. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttt. Big ups going out to Big-big Burt (Tezzer) for sorting us out at last minute somewhere to record our new ep – “The Scary Secret Satanic Chapel of the Beast” (Falcon’s Lodge) which belongs to non other than the secret handshake-specialists – the Freemasons – wow, thanks Terry!

And what a weekend it was. We ended up recording 6 tracks, “Da Hustler Part IX”, “Ground Down”, Motivated by Hatred”, “The One That Dean Starts”, City of the Living Dead” and “Straight Outta Thirsk”. It’s sounding pretty funky at the moment and also has special guest appearences from Toastie Taylor (New Flesh), Jim APBeam (APB), the sprat master himself Jimbo (Freaks Union) and Prof. Jonathan Hell reading excerts from his diary circa 1897. Jim APBeam did all the hardwork recording us – Cheers tod lad – and we’re just waiting for his freaky fingers to do the mixing now with his mate, Skip (ex-guitarist from Sugar Hill Gang, no less) – so all the ingredients are there for some good shit. Not only that but it’s gonna have hidden tracks full of remixes and stuff – Jim APBeam has done a cool as fuck dub styleee mix that’s gonna be on it. And as usual it will be spiced up with film samples too; so far samples from City of the Living Dead (of course), The New Barbarians, 25th Hour and Legend of Hell House with more tbc. So something wicked this way comes very soon...

recent gigz...
We’ve done a couple of gigs, but not as much as we should because we’re lazy bastards. Harrogate (Cassidys) was cool – Big up to Croakditch – dirty rocknroll, man, Newcastle was cool – big up to Minivan, Hartlepool was a tad strange to say the least, big up to Weasel Wayne and the Slam fanatics.

We were supposed to play @ Po-Na-Na’s in Harrogate, but decided to walk out because the staff especially the landlady were cunts. No sense of humour, The Deadly Shrimp couldn’t sell he distro stuff, we got told to take our merch (t-shirt) down from the wall, why? - “It’s sets the wrong impression.” was the reply, well what the fuck were we doing playing there if our t-shirt set the wrong impression, bah it makes me mad – stuck-up fucks. Not only that, they hadn’t advertised, there was no-one there and they weren’t even gonna cover our petrol costs. We won’t be going there again! Our apologies go out to the other band playing, we’re really sorry guys - truely it’s the first time we’ve done that. We’ll get a show together soon and this time we’ll play (as long as it’s not Po-Na–Na’s in the ‘Gate). Aplogies to Yazz also - hope the night turned-out alright in the end!

TOUR
Hopefully we’ll be embarking on a small tour soon. We’re aiming for October 23rd–31st with our Geordie zombie mates Goddamn Minivan. It’s still early days yet but if anyone can help out in anyway (promoters etc) we’d really appreciate it.

COMPLAINTS DEPARTMENT
It seems our resident roadie/idiot/security/horse whisperer Big Burt has gone AWOL in Germany chasing all those moustashed/hairy legged man looking ladies doing what he loves best – horse whispering. We’ll see yer soon yer big gay boy. Keep complaints coming in as usual though.

IN MEMORY OF THE BLUE TORPEDO (RIP)